No investigation needed

I think the NTSB can quite easily arrive at the cause of this plane crash, judging by the two news items CNN.com has right next to each other:

• WSB: Small plane crashes in Atlanta front yard
• iReport.com: Many Atlanta gas stations empty

The Question of the Day

Is Sarah Palin a bad VP candidate, or is she the worst VP candidate ever?

Now, I fully admit that I am not the target demographic they were going after with her selection, however, some things strike me as odd:

1. The McCain camp has taken their ability to attack Obama's inexperience off the table. How do you criticize Obama for being under qualified when your Veep has 20 months experience running Alaska, and a frequent qualification given for her leadership skills is that she was point guard on her high school basketball team?
2. If Obama picked a young VP candidate, he could get away with it. But I'm a bit troubled when a 72 year old with cancer in his background selects somebody grossly unqualified to be his running mate.
3. I know that people handle personal issues in different ways, but I can tell you that if I had a four month old with Downs syndrome, and my 17 year old high school senior daughter was pregnant and planning on marrying the baby's father ... well, I imagine that I'd be a little distracted. So are they saying that she doesn't care about her family and it doesn't matter, or that she won't do anything as VP and it doesn't matter?

It just doesn't seem like a good pick to me.

Floral Derangement: A Rock Phillips Adventure

Rock Phillips unlocked the back door of Phillips' Phlowers and stepped into the dimly lit hallway. His graceful movements belied his linebacker physique as he slowly moved towards the office. Turning on lights as he moved through his establishment, Rock noted every detail, preserving them forever with his photographic memory.

Rock advanced to the front of the store and carefully flipped the sign from “Closed” to “Open”. He had gone no more than four steps when suddenly the door opened, accompanied by the jingling of a tiny bell. Rock continued to move away from the door, but his hand went instantly to his back pocket. Without turning, he pulled out an order pad, and spoke to the person walking through the door. “Hello, Vivian. It's been a long time.”

“You haven't lost your touch, Rock,” Vivian DeLaroche purred as she carefully closed the door behind her. She was beautiful, to be sure, but Rock knew from past experiences that her mind was to be admired even more. As Europe's finest nuclear physicist and the world's leading expert on Islamic Fundamentalist terrorist groups, she was sought after by every government.

Rock just wished that he could trust her.

Turning to face her, he examined the woman in his store. Dark hair framed her face, casting shadows on her smooth features. Before he spoke he noticed a slight tightening in her eyes; she was already hiding something from him.

“I never thought I'd see you again, Vivian.”

Rock's eyes found Vivian's, and they faced each other, a thousand unspoken words traveling through their glance. Vivian broke the spell, turning to face out the shop's tinted window. “I need you. I didn't know where else to go.” She sighed, and looked back at him, “I need to get out of the country, without anybody knowing.”

Rock turned and walked behind the counter, straightening his award from the Chamber of Commerce with a deft touch as he passed. “I can't help you, unless you need a floral arrangement. I'm running a special on tulips this week.”

“Please, Rock, I know that this is just a cover. If you don't want to help me because of...” she paused, looking down at her patent leather shoes. Finding some source of resolve, she looked back at Rock with iron in her gaze. “I know that I hurt you in Madrid, but that couldn't be helped. You have to understand that now. The fate of the world was at stake!”

Rock's gaze didn't waver. His eyes remained focused on Vivian's, even as his right hand moved to pick up a pen from the counter. “I just got in a lovely shipment of daisies. They might be just what you need.” His words were even and smooth, and nothing in what he said betrayed the pain in his heart.

“Rock, please. Help me.”

But Rock knew that he couldn't help her. He had quit his post as leader of Team Super Delta, had returned his badge and his gun, and had opened up a flower shop. While some would say that a man with PhD's from Yale, Princeton and Harvard should be doing more with his life, he was happy with flowers.

They never shot back.

Rock pulled out a catalog and carefully flipped to a page. “If you want to tell somebody you're sorry, this bouquet is just the thing. I deliver to local addresses for only $4.99.”

Vivian held his gaze for another moment, searching for some sign that his resolve would weaken, but he was stronger than her. With a soundless shudder she turned back to the door. “Good bye, Rock. I'm sorry that I bothered you.” She exited the store gracefully, followed by the jingling of the door bell.

Rock slowly exhaled, lowering his gaze to the counter top. He allowed his hands to relax, and didn't bother to try and stop their shaking. Letting her go was the hardest thing he had ever done. But it was necessary, if he was going to be able to give up his old life and stay in the flower business. He was done with the past, and would never go back to it.

The ticking bomb in his safe, however, was about to provide a very dramatic counter argument.

Mix and Match

Jolie gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy
AP - Sun Jul 13, 5:18 PM ET

Mix and Match

Ancient feces indicates earlier American origins

By Maggie Fox, Health and Science Editor Thu Apr 3, 2:08 PM ET

Damn you, Mean Mr. Mustard!

Even though he was not tagged, Mean Mr. Mustard memed. And then he tagged me. So, even though Maya Angelou claims that the meme must not be unbroken, it was. I think.

Anyhoo.

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Pizza Delivery Boy
2. Sandwich Maker
3. Factory Worker
4. Kept Man

B) Four movies I would watch over and over
1. "Lord of the Rings" trilogy
2. Shaun of the Dead
3. Batman Begins
4. Anything with Carrot Top

C) Four places I have lived:
1. North St. Peter, MN
2. South St. Peter, MN
3. On the Hill St. Peter, MN
4. Athens, Greece

Four TV Shows that I watch:
1. American Idol (Tuesday)
2. American Idol (Wednesday)
3. American Idol (Thursday)
4. Saturday Night Live

E) Four places I have been:
1. Rome
2. London
3. Madrid
4. Paris
(I liked MMM's list, so I'm keeping it.)

F) People who email me (somewhat frequently):
1. Scooter
2. Ming
3. Larry (though he's slacking lately) (of course, so am I)
4. Tall Brad (ditto)

G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Stir-fry made by Michelle
2. Pasta made by Michelle
3. Eggs made by Michelle
4. Caramel Corn

H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Four feet to the right.
2. Three feet to the left.
3. Ten feet down.
4. New Zealand

I) Things I am looking forward to this year:
1. Mastering Dance Dance Revolution on my WII
2. Being able to go outside
3. Going to Germany and Italy
4. Michelle making me food

OK, that sucked. Anyway, I'll tag Annie, the Big Tree and Wil Wheaton (since we're really tight).

Yippee!

Good news from Middle Earth.

Noooooooooooo!

Shit.

Good, Clean Fun

Can you guess which person doesn't find this picture hilarious?

(Hint: He only has one hand!)

Three Years Later...

John Kerry finally grows a pair.

Would have been nice to see this side of Kerry when it actually would have mattered.

Not Politics

Just go play at FreeRice.com, expand your vocabulary and help address world hunger.

Sometimes I believe that the man was put on this earth only to vex me

I mean, how else could you explain this video? Sorry, Mr. President, you're absolutely correct. I certainly can't think of a single error that has been made. Nope, not one.

Now, I always thought that if there was a Republican president, at the very least we could enjoy some sort of fiscal responsibility. At least, that's how they try and spin it, when, for example, President Bush accuses Congress of going on a "spending spree."

Really? Pots and kettles, maybe? Just look at this graph:



It looks like the only President that has been able to slow the growth of the Federal Debt is that rascally liberal, President Clinton. After Bush took office, it seems like the debt took a good dose of Viagra.

OK, I can handle this. Only 430 more days of being vexed.

I don't know if this is accurate or not

And I don't really care. I just think it's funny:

What did we do to deserve this President?

Man, he's annoying.

At a talk before the Heritage Foundation, Bush likened Congress to those who ignored Lenin and Hitler, and warned that they should spend more time listening to terrorists than MoveOn.org.

There are so many ways to go with this.

Bush on Hitler:

In the 1920s, the world ignored the words of Hitler, as he explained his intention to build an Aryan super-state in Germany, take revenge on Europe, and eradicate the Jews — and the world paid a terrible price.

When he's talking about people ignoring Hitler, does he mean people like his own grandfather?

Wait, that is a tenuous connection, and doesn't really have anything to do with Bush himself, so maybe we should go a different route: Hitler rose to power by solidifying power in the executive branch, while continually nudging the German constitution out of the way until it became meaningless. Gee, who do we know who acts like that?

Bush on bin Laden:

When it comes to funding our troops, some in Washington should spend more time responding to the warnings of terrorists like Osama bin Laden and the requests of our commanders on the ground and less time responding to the demands of MoveOn.org bloggers and Code Pink protesters.

We should spend more time worrying about bin Laden, huh? So, which video will make your stomach churn more, this one, or this one?

Is there anything that Bush does that doesn't reek of irony?

---

Addendum: I watched the Kerry/Bush video again, and it made me wonder: How many people who voted in 2004 actually voted for a candidate? How many people were actually energized by the candidate themselves? I would guess that most people who voted were either voting for their party, or against the guy they disliked the most. Please, somebody with more life experience than I have tell me when there was a Presidential election with two less likable candidates.

Something Horrible

While looking at the search phrases used to find my other blog, I found a curious one: "milena -velba"

So, I wondered, why would somebody want to search on the name "milena", but explicitly not want to find any sites that also have the name "velba"? Could it be that bad?

Well, the answer is frightening. Please don't click on this link.

Memeorific!

Mean Mr. Mustard tagged me. That was nice of him.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
James McAvoy - nobody has ever milked the old getting-hung-in-the-air-suspended-by-meat-hooks-piercing-your-body gag for more laughs. A rare genius.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Searching for pictures of James McAvoy being tortured.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Eating French Toast.

4. What happened to you in 2006?
According to my other blog, I had a chair fixed.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Kelson, get back here! I asked for a Killian's, not a Schell's Dark!"

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Milk, coffee, one Killian's Red, one Schell's Dark. Four

7. What color is your hairbrush?
I think it's blue.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
My last purchase was at Target yesterday. The last thing put in the cart was extra long matches. I'm wild that way.

9. Where were you last night?
At home.

10. What color is your front door?
Wood-colored gray.

11. Where do you keep your change?
Above the refrigerator.

12. What’s the weather like today?
It's creeping towards 50 degrees now, and should top off at 70. Which means that I will be forced to bring the kids outside to play.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
Chunky Monkey. Just because.

14. What excites you?
Memes.

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Always.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Duh.

17. Do you talk a lot?
No.

18. Have you watched any television series, regularly, to which you be ashamed to admit your regular viewership? What was your favorite episode?
CSI:Miami. I loved the episode where Horatio tilted his head, and in a very touching and heartfelt manner told the child/young boy/distraught young woman that "You're safe now."/"Nobody will hurt you again."/"I won't let that happen."

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
When I was a junior in high school, our basketball team was able to have five Steve's on the court at a time. Does that make me cool?

20. Do you make up your own words?
Frequently. For example, I just told Kelson that I was having a "meme-tastic" time.

21. Are you a jealous person?
Why? Should I be? What are you telling me? Is there something I should know? Michelle!!!!

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
Arthur. (wait, was it supposed to be a friend of mine?)

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Kevin.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
That's the cell phone thing, right? Probably a wrong number.

25. What does the last text message you received say?
I actually got a text message from my brother with a picture of his newest baby. And I even knew how to look at it, because I'm techno-savvy.

26. Do you chew on your straw?
If I know what you mean?

27. Do you have curly hair?
Pervert.

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Grocery store. Whoopee.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Me. I'm a bastard.

30. What was the last thing you ate?
French Toast. (Or, as I first typed it with my right hand in the wrong place: "Frebcg Tiast")

31. Will you get married in the future?
I sure as hell hope not.

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
Last King of Scotland. Just last night.

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
As a general rule, I hate people. But there are some exceptions. Just to cover my bases, I'll say this: "I like you."

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Stop. You're killing me.

35. Are you currently depressed?
I'm getting closer.

36. Did you cry today?
OK, now I'm depressed.

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Because I'm depressed.

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
The only person I know who blogs and visits my blog (and hasn't done this already) is BiggTree, so I'll pointlessly tag him. I'll tag Michelle, too, since she doesn't have a blog but can read her answers out loud to the poodles.

AND, feel free to change out one of these questions for anything else you want to ask and answer.

More People To Kill

In an unsurprising move, President Bush appointed somebody opposed to contraception to head a Health and Human Services post responsible for overseeing the nations contraception programs. The only way to reconcile his senseless opposition to birth control with his indifference to the number of people killed in Iraq is that he is worried that he might run out of people to kill.

Got to keep supply up, ya know!

Funny

What a comment stream would look like in a meeting. (Some vulgarity)

Worthless Post

I haven't posted anything in a while, so I will just put up this worthless link that you probably don't want to click on.

Fortunate One

We had Chinese tonight. It was yummy. The best part, of course, is the delicious fortune cookies that you get with the meal. I highly recommend W & F Fortune Cookies. My fortune was incredibly poignant:

Art misunderstanding by calm, poise and balance.

Eli's was just disturbing:

Behind an able man, there are always other able men.

Mark me down for not wanting to be able!