Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Klund's Meme Meme

This meme needs to be done.

1. Memes have been called "crack for bloggers" - why do you agree with this statement?

2. Which is more gay - writing a meme or answering a meme?

3. In what way is this the best meme you have ever answered?

4. Scooter said he never made out in a movie theater, while Mean Mr. Mustard is a fan of Sam Shepard. Which one of them is the biggest loser?

5. I've only been tagged once to do a meme. Does this mean I'm very lucky, have no friends, or both?

6. If you were stuck on a deserted island, which three memes would you want to have with you?

7. Why is question number 7 always the best question in a meme?

8. If you could answer a meme about any topic, which topic would it be?

9. Which would you rather answer - a meme about homosexual giraffes or one about dryer lint?

10. Does your answer to question number 9 mean that you are A) a homophobe, or B) a lintphobe?

11. How happy are you that this meme is done now?

Naturally, I tag Scooter and Mean Mr. Mustard, since they're the only people I know who blog.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Flash Fiction IV

OK, here's the last of my flash fiction pieces. This one was a bit rushed, since I had to miss the class because of play rehearsals. But I did email it to the prof so it could be included. The assignment this time was to write a confession. I think. Something like that. Anyway, this is what I came up with.

Omnipology


I'm sorry. It's my fault. All of it.

I'll take the blame for the whole thing. You got a complaint? I'm the cause. Poor grades? I could've made you smarter. Acne? That was a bad idea. Mosquitoes? Annoying little bastards. Black Plague? What, I couldn't have killed a few rats? Genocide in Rwanda? Messed that one up.

But do you know what my main mistake was? Free will. Stupidest damn thing I did, handing that out. I tell you, if there was no free will then this world would run as smoothly as a baby's bare butt. Honestly, I can not believe some of the choices that you people make. Did you know that in the United States alone there are 23 people who have partially eaten human bodies in their refrigerators? I know everything and I didn't see that one coming.

What do you expect, though, perfection? People think that just because a guy's omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent (and let me tell you, that's a hell of a lot of “omni's”) that he's not supposed to make any mistakes. Well, you know what? Everybody screws up at some point. It's just that when I do it, it's on a slightly larger scale. You miscalculate your checking account balance, take out too much money, and get a twenty dollar overcharge fee. I miscalculate the tectonic pressure on a transform plate boundary, and suddenly there are 20,000 dead Turkish villagers.

So yeah, it's my fault. But Jesus Christ, why don't you try spending one god damn minute as the all-fucking benevolent ruler of the universe. Let me see how you like it. It's not – and this can't be stressed enough – it is not a walk through a fucking patch of daisies. Have you ever tried coming up with a cohesive set of rules to govern a physical universe? You get one conflicting rule of thermodynamics, and suddenly BOOM! Your universe is toast. Learned that one the hard way.

Here's the deal: I'll take the blame, since it is my fault, but how about you cut me a little bit of slack? Think you can do that? You keep your free will, try and live your life, maybe even be happy once or twice, and I'll take the fall for the big stuff. Hurricanes, bigotry, inequity, the meteor that's heading your way – it's all on me.

So there you have it. I built the world, and it's a damn screwy place, and I'm sorry for that. But you got free will, so you can make of it whatever you want. Now go on and do whatever it is you do, and give me some peace.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Could be worse

Your results:
You are Dr. Doom


































Dr. Doom
55%
The Joker
51%
Dark Phoenix
48%
Apocalypse
47%
Magneto
45%
Poison Ivy
45%
Mr. Freeze
43%
Green Goblin
41%
Juggernaut
41%
Lex Luthor
40%
Mystique
37%
Catwoman
36%
Venom
31%
Riddler
28%
Two-Face
21%
Kingpin
18%
Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity.


Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test

Flash Fiction III

The assignment for our third flash fiction was to write a piece where you could only use words that were 6 letters or less. There was an exclusion list, but I don't think I used any of those words. And again, an attempt was made to hide authorship. I don't think anybody guessed that I wrote this one.

I don't know if that's good or not.

Sunset


He holds her hand and helps her climb down to the craggy rocks below. They step around thorny bushes, moving to a clear slab of wind blown stone. They sit and huddle close to each other for warmth. His hand finds hers, and they wait, still and silent, as the sun slowly moves to its end of day ritual.

The cape juts out from the land, a rocky point that houses the temple to the sea god. Choppy water rushes to meet the rugged coast thirty feet below the temple. Surf sprays the ground, making the uneven paths slick. The few plants that cling to the cape remain small, afraid to battle the wind and water.

He turns to her, places a kiss upon her cheek. His hand pulls a strand of auburn hair away from her eyes and curls it behind her ear. A finger keeps in touch with her skin, slides down her face to her chin, up and over her lips, then leaves, for a brief second, to return with a light tap on the tip of her nose. She laughs and smiles, her gaze still to the west.

The sun, larger than ever, burns deep red as it meets the sea. An island is shown in stark relief, purple and maroon sky ablaze behind it. The sea boils and flames as the sun meets its end. Paths of color streak away from the point of impact, bottles of wine poured over the sea - merlot, shiraz, pinot noir.

"It's lovely." She turns to him, his gaze still intent upon her. "You missed it."

The temple glows red as each column holds onto the last light of the day. The cool marble shines, just as it did ages ago. At last the sun sinks into the sea, and the temple goes dark.

"I didn't come here for the sunset."

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Movie Meme

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Flash Fiction II

The second time we did a flash fiction day (four weeks later) there were two wrinkles. The first is that I now knew that sometimes people tried to copy the style of others in the class, or modify how they write, to make it harder to guess who wrote what. The second wrinkle is that our professor gave us a challenge - write the piece without using one letter. Ideally the missing letter should be something that would be important, not a q, j or z. I had already started working on a piece, and since it was first person, I decided to write it without using the letter i. Try it some time. It's fun.

Truth


The old lady nods and beams at me, the baby clutched to her chest. Confused, my words tumble out, “No. She can not be my daughter. Tell them. Tell them that!” Our translator doesn't deserve my anger, but nobody else presents themselves as a target.

He speaks to the lawyer who works for the placement agency. Not enough words are exchenged. He turns to me, “No, they know. Your daughter. Huan Yue.”

“No! Look at the old lady. She holds a baby! She can't be more than two months old. Huan Yue was born fourteen months ago!” My purse holds photographs of Huan Yue that have come to us from Hangzhou over the past seven months. The newest ones are always ready to show our folks, co-workers, and other people who we would see. As the only attachment we've had to our baby daughter for seven months, they are treasures to us.

Pulled from my purse, the small framed photograph acts as my proof, shown to the translator, to the lawyer, to the old lady, even to the baby herself. “Look! Here you can see Huan Yue! Here you can see my daughter! You do not have Huan Yue!”

My heart beats faster. My breath catches. The walls encroach upon my body. We have made plans for today for over a year. We completed such a great deal of work, and expended so much energy to be able to come here. Then, at last, we learned that there was a baby who would be able to become our daughter. We accepted Huan Yue as a part of our household. She was our baby daughter, even though she was across an ocean. She was ours.

And now, after seven long months, my daughter should be before me, and they present me a falsehood! After a thousand dreams where we meet, Huan Yue held to my breast, her small cheek pressed to my blouse, and they offer a fake. A fraud!

Who can come to my rescue? My husband, back at the hotel, probably on the bathroom floor? He has suffered from some unknown malady upon the moment we landed at Hangzhou. Our help here was supposed to be the agency attorney, yet he refuses to acknowledge the truth!

The attorney takes the baby and comes at me, places her upon my arms. “Huan Yue. Yes.”

He looks at me, nods and backs away. Do they see me as a fool? Slowly the facts become clear to me. Only two ways to choose are before me – take the baby offered to me home, or return empty handed, alone.

The baby opens her eyes and reaches out a small hand. She looks at me, dark eyes aglow. She was a blameless pawn, used by others to secure some goal.

A prayer forms as my thoughts turn to the real Huan Yue. May she have a home where she can grow, play and learn. May she have a mother and father to care for her. May she have love.

“Yes. My baby.”