Friday, December 31, 2004

America (The Book), Quote of the Day

Lobbyists even help expedite legislation by touting its benefits to members whose votes are needed. In many ways, lobbyists are the cheerleaders of Capitol Hill - sad, soulless, clandestine, unfuckable cheerleaders.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

America (The Book), Quote of the Day

The President of the United States is the most powerful, most recognizable, and best person on earth.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

America (the Book), Quote of the Day

In fourteen hundred ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue...

...and discovered America. Now, some have argued Columbus actually
discovered the West Indies, or that Norsemen had discovered America
centuries earlier, or that you really can't get credit for discovering
a land already populated by indigenous people with a developed
civilization. Those people are communists. Columbus discovered
America.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Friday, December 17, 2004

I blogged:

I know who the murderer is.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Amazingly Important Information

After learning that "Tom Marvolo Riddle" is an anagram for "I am
Lord Voldemort" (!), I decided that I should find what Kevin Thomas
Lund truly means. Here are the options I came up with:


  1. Hand not evil skum

  2. Dunk slave in moth

  3. Moist Klund haven


But was that enough? Did that really give the true meaning of who
and what I am? Undeterred, I visited href="http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html">The Internet
Anagram Server
to find more amazing results. The options are, if
not endless, staggering. A collection:


  1. A ED THINK VOL MS NU
  2. A DEVIL HUNTS MONK
  3. A MINED HUNK VOLTS
  4. DANK ME TUSH IN VOL
  5. LAND VOTES I'M HUNK
  6. MAD SHOVEL INK NUT

Yes, I think we've learned a great deal today.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Assistance Needed

I need assistance coming up to the answer to a problem that has
been nagging at me lately: Why do people like me?

As far as I can tell, it's an inescapable fact. People like me.
However, I can't figure out why the hell that would be. Let's review:
I'm not a nice person, I have a complete and utter lack of tact
(remember the "cripple" comment?), I'm an arrogant bastard, I have no
moral code to speak of, I'm lazy and selfish, I don't like people,
and, in general, I'm an asshole.

So why would people like me? I've come up with a few possible answers:


  1. My amazing intellect. People are so impressed by how smart I am
    that they overlook my shortcomings.
  2. My dashing good looks. Beautiful people always get the benefit of the doubt.
  3. My rapier sharp wit. When I'm being a boorish ass, people just cut
    me slack and assume that it's another example of my incredible sense
    of humor.
  4. My undefinable quality. Despite everything else, I just have the
    ability to "come off well."

So, what do you think the answer is? Help me solve this problem
before I inadvertantly brighten another person's day.

Friday, December 03, 2004