Who am I?

I heard someone attempt to describe themselves and thought that it would be a worthwhile exercise. So here is how I would describe myself:

Take all of the greatest people in the world, living or dead - the smartest, kindest, best looking, most ingenious people - and combine them together. I'm talking about people like Mother Theresa, Leonardo da Vinci, the three Alberts (Schweitzer, Einstein and Fat), John F. Kennedy, Jesus Christ. Mix all of them together, and then remove the few character flaws and imperfections that each of them had.

Next, take those character flaws and distill them for a thousand years, allowing only the most evil, the most cold-hearted, the most disgusting, and the most vile traits to remain. And truly these traits will be spectacular, for every person has the ability to be evil to the same degree that they are good. Then take the remaining mix and bake it in the fiery furnaces of Hell for another thousand years. Remove it when it is human shaped, pink skinned, and bounces back when pressed lightly.

That's me, I think.

Oh, make sure to keep all the reserved people bits from the first step. If used properly they can be the ingredients to make a Peter Jackson.