I think they want you, Scooter

An open casting call looking for "extreme characters and hideously unattractive types." Just to warn you, though, this isn't a paid interview. Sorry.

Book Review: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, J.K. Rowlings

It's hard to describe accurately what one feels upon completing the latest addition to the Harry Potter series. It certainly picks up the story where Order of the Phoenix left off, but it strays a bit from the style that we've come to expect from Rowlings.

Is there wizardry? Yes, of course! But it's not exactly the same. For example, in this book Ron ventures into Knockturn Alley to meet with a shady wizard. But instead of attempting to gain information to help Harry defeat Lord Voldemort, Ron purchases a "self-enhancement" potion, in order to "increase" and "enlarge" his chances of making a "significant impression" on Hermione. (if you know what I mean)

Is there witchcraft? Again, of course! It's just that I didn't expect to read about Ginny Weasly filming an erotic home video with Professor Flitwick where they "charm the pants off one another." (and I think you know what I mean)

Probably the most surprising aspect of the book was learning that Dumbledore (the titular Half-Blood Prince) had in fact been a minion of Voldemort's all along. When his connection to the Dark Lord was revealed, he fled to London with Snape, and the two of them moved into a flat in Soho, where "Dumbledore would pay the rent, and Snape would take care of the utilities." (and I know you know what I mean)

The ending of the book is even more surprising, but I don't want to give it away for those who have yet to read it. Here's a hint though: Harry, Hagrid, two Boy Scouts, four "wands", and a ham sandwich. (oh yeah, you know what I mean)

Anyway, I give it a 99.

Furthermore

I am supposed to link to my greatest posts, so all of the losers who come here from the City Pages will know how brilliant I think I am. Or something like that. I never get these things correct.

• My archive from last September is loaded with brilliant posts. Amazing.
• Is it possible to top the adventures of Flatulence Man?
• Of course, my account of The Wiggles True Hollywood Story is a masterpiece beyond compare.
• And finally, the coop de resistor: this post. Wow.

Happy?

Have I mentioned yet

that people who read the City Pages are simple-minded fools who believe that spurning mass media options makes them somehow better than other people? Is there anything more disgusting than self-important boobs?

Larry, Quick!

Read this before you get in trouble! Beware big brother!

Mix and Match

Angelina Jolie adopts Ethiopian AIDS orphan

Reuters - Tue Jul 5,11:14 PM ET

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Actress Angelina Jolie is adopting a newborn Ethiopian girl orphaned by AIDS, People magazine reported on Tuesday.